Jan 05 2009
The little follicle that could…maybe?
Having a potentially mature follicle is just a glimmer of hope in the grand scheme of conceiving. I remember back to high school where parents, youth pastors, sex ed teachers, and pretty much any adult that was in a position to influence your decisions would instill a fear that just looking at the opposite sex could result in pregnancy. And sure there were the handful of girls who had to leave our school to go to a high school specially for pregnancy. The idea that this miracle happens any time you have sex is a far cry from the intricate details that must collide in order for this to happen. The follicle was the start of a new journey. I returned to the doctor on a Saturday morning, this time with husband in tow, to once again have an ultrasound to measure the maturation. After the doctor did a few wrinkles of his forehead and squinting his eyes, he calculated that it was just big enough to move forward. Move forward, now that is something I had not heard before. Instead of excitement, a whole rush of new fears and emotions came over me. This time, related wondering what exactly that meant in terms of options and what this would cost. We had saved just enough for one round of invitro fertilization. Granted that is one of the last steps on this road to pregnancy, but all I kept thinking in my mind was what if we start spending that now and have nothing left if that time comes. I was quickly reminded of a principle I heard in a recent bible study that God does not want you to have a plan for your surplus. I realized that I should be grateful we had it and once again, God would make a way. That way came sooner than I anticipated. Just minutes after the positive ultrasound, my doctor could sense I was worried about something. I spoke up to ask what exactly was next, would it be painful, and how much would it cost?
